


16 Rules for Visting Jedi

by Solo2814



Series: Skippy's List: Avenger's Style [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebels, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Post-Battle of Endor, Skippy's List, pre-Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 07:04:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4338641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solo2814/pseuds/Solo2814
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Force runs Strong as the Avengers hook up with the Heroes of Yavin. Now if only Director Fury could Force these people off his planet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	16 Rules for Visting Jedi

1\. Mr. Fett is reminded that Master Windu is for all legal and practical purposes dead. He cannot kill Director Fury “Just in Case.”

2\. Speaking in vague mysticisms is not a Get Out of Jail Free card.

3\. There will be no further attempts to reprogram C-3PO to be “less of a whiny shit.”

4\. While we understand that Large Furred Animals can be pungent, there will be no more surprise showers for Commander Chewbacca.

5\. Artificial limbs are still Limbs. “My Bad” will not be sufficient to apologize for having one crushed, vaporized, magnetized, chopped up or otherwise rendered inoperable.

6\. “There is no Try” relates to profound spiritual dilemmas, not attempts to enforce “No Clothes Monday”.

7\. Master Skywalker is not allowed to Mind Trick Mr. Stark into apologizing.

               a. Unfortunately.

8\. Order 66 was a deeply traumatic event and will not be mentioned in the context of takeout orders.

9\. Captain Rogers should please stop referring to Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader as an “Over-Dramatic Loser”, that “Walking Iron Lung”, or “Space Jesus”.

10\. There will be no all-day Disney Marathons just so Knight Bridger can get Mr. Stark’s Aladdin references.

11\. The Millennium Falcon is in perfect working order. Misters Stark and Banner are not permitted to “Fix It Dammit. It looks like it’s held together with spit and fuzzballs.”

12\. Mission Briefings are not to be conducted as a Gungan, Toydarian, or in any accent other than your own.

13\. If you cannot pronounce someone’s name, ask or shut your mouth. Close enough is not close enough.

                  a. On a related note, any mention of the following is now forbidden: Bail and Leela Oregano, Shiv Palpitations, Pad-Mate Am-A-Doll-Duh, Dark Vacant, DeepDeep Baba, Cat-Eyes Moon-D, Baba and Jangles Fit, or Obie Want a Can Obie

14\. Lightsabers are much harder to operate than they look.

15\. Chancellor Organa does not appreciated people pointing out she kissed her brother.

16\. The words “I Have a Bad Feeling About This” are never to be uttered. Ever Again.


End file.
